Monday, August 28, 2006

Supermarket Etiquette

Hi pals. If you see me in Asdal or Texo or any other supermarket, and you happen to be behind me in the queue, do me a favour- KEEP YOUR FUCKING DISTANCE. There's nothing that winds me up more than encroachers, but most specifically in the supermarket setting. Whats wrong with waiting until ive packed my bags and paid before you even think about coming past me and standing at the bottom? Bastards.

p.s. why didnt i notice that i wrote SAVE instead of say on the title of my previous post?

Friday, August 25, 2006

I just called to save you love me

There was a repeat of The Two Ronnies on last night, when Ronnie Corbett was blacked up as Stevie Wonder in a pastiche of I just called to say i love you. It was a singular and somewhat unnerving sight i can tell you, because it was so accurate. Its stayed with me all day.

***Click on BUY MY PRODUCTS on the left and you can buy my products*** (Advertisement)

This is a picture of Bobby Video on Lea Bridge Road, Walthamstow. i was on the bus which is why its blurry- i just chose it at random from my photos. This was my favourite shop name, along with Ken Machines in Hackney when i lived in London. What's Your favourite Shop Name?

FRIDAY CULTURAL PICK- i'm reading The Thousand and One Nights. It's brilliant.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Aww, Bless!

I realised that it really annoys me when people say "bless you" when you sneeze, and then look at you like you're supposed to thank them for pointing out this involuntary bodily thing. Plus, isnt it some kind of christian throwback thing about your soul escaping when you sneeze? By this logic, your soul could escape when you burp or fart. I'd like someone to smile and say "bless you" when i've ripped off a nauseating power-blaster; its only as disgusting as projecting spit everywhere whilst shouting, which is what a sneeze boils down to.

what do you call the roman emperor with a tickly nose?


what do you call the mouse roman emperor?


what do you call the chocolate roman emperor?


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

32 Profile Views and counting

Since about day 2 of my blog i have had 32 profile views. what a crock, and moreover what a waste of my amusing stories and pictures. i demand more views this instant, and as such have posted a picture of baby jesus and the Madonna to make you think about yourselves.

No i havent, because every time i try and post it, Safari crashes. I hope you're all very proud of yourselves.

Whats the problem? is it because i'm i dont like Doctor Who, or i'm not gay or have issues?
In fact, i'm probably in the biggest majority group i could possibly be in; I'm a white, straight, western, english-speaking male aged 18-30, therefore it's not surprising i occupy the banal for most of the time.

However i like comics, and hope i make things of beauty which puts me in a minority.

also i dont like mustard or soap operas.

whats my point? hard to tell.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Stevo's Film Club

We went to see Nacho Libre on tuesday. Its the new film from Jared Hess, the director of Napoleon Dynamite, but the subject matter, mexican luchadores (wrestlers) is quite far removed from Napoleon's high school antics. I thought it would be a bit difficult to get into as it begins with Jack Black as a monk doing a dodgy spanish accent, but once they start wrestling there was a lot of really funny (mostly slapstick) moments. If you like Jack Black (i do) you'll most probably like the film, if you dont you wont, especially if you were expecting Napoleon Dynamite 2. The direction is centred around Jack Black's performance and theres a few unnecessary fart gags in there, and lacks a lot of the subtlety which made ND so brilliant.

i thought it was worth £3.75 (bargain matinee price) but Julie didnt. its a lot of fun.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Turkish Delight

Cadbury's started making Turkish Delight again after the salmonella scare. i was prepared to take my chances, and i'm over the moon that its back.

Joke Competition No. 1:

What do Sharks like for Breakfast?

Come on friends, dont let me down!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Banal Pig Comic Number Three

Well Banal Pig Comic Number three has been started in earnest today, and hopefully will be ready for the Birmingham Comic Expo in December. When i mean started, i mean doing all the drawings all nice like, i've got a lot of the stories worked out- expect more Fez Man, Ambivalent Elephant, Incompetent Shark, Ugly Mind Reader, Lickle Bastard (probably), Cat Dad plus new character Irate Robot and "The Ballad of Homeless Goose", the foul mouthed tramp we first met in bp2. I'll probably do another Feeder and Wife as well, but i've not thought of a story yet.
The jury's still out on Retard Dad- i asked readers to vote on whether they wanted to kill him off and so far the tally is 2-0 in favour of continuing the adventures, but maybe if more people voted we could get rid of him. retard dad really started out as an exercise in being as offensive as possible, and if he returns there will be some blasphemy i think, but i've calmed down a bit since then in terms of shock value.
This is as much of a published incentive to get things moving as anything, and i really should get on with it.

***If you don't know what i'm talking about, click on the Banal Pig Website link on the right for info on the first two comics***

and look out for little teasers of the new stuff as and when i do it.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Why do mythical sea monsters like rice krispies?

because of the snap, KRAKEN and pop!

Pirates, AAAArgh!

So we watched Pirates of the Caribbean 2 yesterday, subtitled The Curse of the Unresolved Plotline. It was fairly entertaining and the special effects were as good as you'd expect, but out of the 10 or so plotlines that we are presented with, exactly none are resolved within the film. Fair enough, have a sequel, but give me some closure dammit! wrap up one plotline, that would do. Further to this, there was a lot of references to inconsequential bits of the first one which suddenly become important and although i thought the first one was really good, i saw it once about 18 months ago.

it had a kraken though. aaaaaargh! tis the kraken!

this is a soap pig from turriff show (see below)

Monday, August 07, 2006

I've been away- but now i'm back

So i've been on holiday. What's that you ask? At which vacation hotspot did i summer? Biarritz? Monte Carlo? Mauritius?
Close, my friends but no. This year i had it large at Turriff, Aberdeenshire, famous for the decorated trainer, pictured.
This was the craft exhibition at the Turriff Show of course and was behind some chicken wire as you're not allowed to touch (forsooth!) because the jewels might come off. Other such craft items on show were the six inch knitted square, the fruit and vegetable modelling and decorated biscuit, not to mention the soap modelling.

Wish you were there? I'll fucking bet you do.