Fishface in (1) colour (purple)

Post 100, 1 year on.

Yes as previously mentioned, i've racked up 100 posts in exactly 1 year, for what it's worth. As its my birthday, why dont you send me some cash, and i'll send you one or all of my comics. If there is anyone reading this who doesnt own the entire portfolio of Banal Pig Comics, here's a reminder of what's on offer:

Banal Pig 1; Feeder and Wife, Hairy Feller, Retard Dad, Incompetent Shark, Womany Man, and Banal Pig and Friends in "Gutter Stupidity" £4 inc p&p

Banal Pig 2: More Feeder and Wife, Incompetent Shark, plus the introduction of Jolly Bear, Lickle Bastard and Ugly Mind Reader, and Fez Man in "Between a Rock and a Hard Place" £4 inc p&p

Jolly Bear and Fun Coconut Summer Special: JB goes about his business in the slums of Hackney, and we meet his flatmate, Fun Coconut who is obsessed with the film Basic Instinct SOLD OUT

Banal Pig 3; More adventures from the BP Gang as the trilogy comes full circle and the prophecy is realised. With the introduction of Irate Robot, and "The Ballad of Homeless Goose" £4 inc p&p

The Banal Pig Portrait Anthology: featuring portraiture-themed work from the finest UK small pressers: hilarious, but really makes you think. £4 inc p&p

Ethel Sparrowhawk: The story of a seemingly unlucky girl who will try anything to improve her luck, a collaboration with Jemima Von Schindelberg. £4 inc p&p

Also, the excellent work by the man who puts the "ig" in Banal Pig Comics, Gareth Van Brookes.

Again, thanks to everyone whose supported me over this annus mediocris.

Nice One Laters

Yours Truly

Stevo xxx

Round Winston Churchill's House/ ROAD JOKES!

Another reject from the anthology- it didnt seem to have that many funny things at the time so i put "What does fishface do?" in instead.


Round Winston Churchill’s House

So I’m here with Winston and his friend Phil in the drawing room (his dog’s in the corner as well). This one of many rooms in this large country retreat- I’m staying here tonight, and I feel very eager to impress.

Winston and Phil are smoking cigars, and he offers me one. When I politely decline he seems terribly offended, and at once his attention turns from me and I am excluded from the conversation. Five minutes pass and I continue to be ignored so I decide to ask for a cigar after all. Winston’s demeanour changes at once. His attention reverts back to me and he watches with delight and expectation as I light the cigar. I disgrace myself as the pungent smoke makes me gip and cough, and I am unable to prevent a considerable string of saliva lowering itself from my mouth onto my tie.

The next morning, Winston and Phil have already breakfasted when I get downstairs, and rather than cause a fuss, I go hungry.




Road Jokes

What does a road say when he wishes to thank you?

TAR!

Whats a Road's favourite Grandmaster Flash song?

WHITE LINES!

What does a baby road do before it can walk?

KERB CRAWLING!

Go on have a go!

Whathappenedatthewebandminicomixthingstevo?

well, i'll tell you what happened. it was quite a good day, and as the punters there are our specific target market we did probably as well in one day as we usually do over the weekend at the big cons. the new anthology went down quite well and there were quite a few of the contributors there to pick up their issues. i didnt actually buy anything but there was some decent stuff there- The Sound of Drowning, Dan Locke's Green comics, Monkeys Might Puke, Beaver and Steve spring to mind - there was plenty of shite there too. Plenty of fucking awful shite. Gareth managed to get Man Man 3 out too, and we were also selling good old Oli Easts Trains Are Mint which aslo went down well.
it does make me think that there should be more cons like this, as it would actually mean we started to make money at these fairs (i dont know anyone who does), although the entry fee £4 was probably a bit steep, most of this went towards the anthology/catalogue thing which was like a phone book and had colour printing but was on sale for 50p. i didnt buy this either because although i sent a submission, which i posted here first under the title "New Exclusive Banal Pig Mothercrushers!" they didnt use it for whatever reason. fuck em.

the image is the cover pic from, yes you guessed it, the portrait anthology, and the art lovers amongst you will recognise it as a pastiche of Durer's Self Portrait with Leather Gloves.

Am I still on about that fucking anthology? You bet your ass!

sup g men and home girls?

yes, the anthology is at the printers. its banal pig comics' 9th publication. not bad eh? anyway if you're reading this its more likely than not that you contributed to it and are struggling to keep the drool in your mouth thinking about it, as it so mouthwatering to simply imagine. 40 pages, colour cover (thats right!, glossy too dont you know). we'll see if it actually sells soon enough. hope so, although its not as comicy as some of its rivals on the open market. classy, cerebral you know.
the banal pig is all about value for money, but i dont know exactly what it'll cost until our man at the printers tells me tomorrow.

moving on good old ethel sparrowhawk is also underway, and what about this pig lovers, jolly bear and fun coconut summer special ...number two! wherein fun coconut finds a new film that he likes, and jolly bear goes missing, oh crumbs!

what about that for a teaser? what about this for some rhetoric?